I HAVE NEVER BEEN
Remember that old movie It’s a Wonderful Life? I was like that silly second-class angel Clarence who begged for a chance to earn his wings. But you never prayed for me, Polonia. And then the bells that I finally heard ringing were for another man.
I have been in your embrace. I have never been in your heart.
And now I am adrift in the gulf between this moment of my life and the last time you ever spoke to me, Polonia. I’m an Urbana cop, for goddsake. I can’t afford to be so pussy and so distracted.
It was two weeks before your wedding. It was going to be a traditional Polish wedding. That whole neighborhood of Urbana thought it was zajebiscie! (fucking great!). Your parents tried to be happy for you, but, O Moj Boze (Oh My God)…
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