FAMILY, FRIENDS, AND DEBT COLLECTORS

The CLOUD CHAMBER

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FAMILY, FRIENDS, and DEBT COLLECTORS

System Greeting

Faun Meadows you have [eleven] unheard messages.

Message One

        Faun, it’s your mother.  Are you avoiding me?  Please call me back as soon as you get this, OK?  Love you.

Message Two

        Yo’, Faun.  It’s me.  Remember?  [laughs]  I put the ‘penis’ in ‘happiness’?  Remember?  Hey, I’m back for awhile, so if you’re ‘open’  [laughs]  let me know.  But don’t make me wait ‘too long’, y’know?  [laughs]

Message Three

        This message is for Faun Meadows.  This is The Loan Ranger dot com.  Your first ‘Fast Loan’ payment is overdue and will result in legal action unless you come current immediately.  Call me back at 1.LOANRANGER.  If you have already made this payment please disregard this message.  Have a Hi-Ho Day.

Message Four

        Faun, this is Daddy.  Your mother called.  Why are you avoiding her?  Don’t make this harder than…

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