pig in boots



        The difference is: I lie for a reason.

        Yeah, yeah, I know: Who doesn’t? Maybe a pathological liar doesn’t. Of course, even a pathological liar has a chemical reason.

        OK, that’s not what I’m talking about.

        When I became self-aware I thought that I was special. Not just unique in a billions of years have lead up to me kind of way. I always thought that there was a God watching over me. I don’t remember that being explained to me. My parents were not religious. They took me to church because it was good parenting. Maybe I learned it there. But I don’t think so. I’ve always talked to God, especially when I’m angry and cursing, but also when I’m relieved of some burden.

        I don’t think that’s schizophrenia. Everybody has that voice in their head.

        I fell into a life-long love with a girl who did not believe in me as her God-given destiny the way I believed in her. All of my relations since then have been bitter.

        I have disappointed everyone in my life.

        My God-given life has disappointed me.

        Everything is a lie.

        Yeah, Mendacity is a system that we live in but it’s even more than that.

        Take Gravity. What is Gravity? Well, it depends on what your definition of “is” is.

        We don’t know what Gravity “is”. Science has a description of what to expect from that which we have named Gravity.

        Science isn’t about Truth because the only “truth” is that things are moving. For all those formulae, all that the Science of Physics has to say is that things are moving; defining a thing as that which resists acceleration and acceleration as a kind of movement.

        Science is all an attempt to predict the future, isn’t it? A fortune teller in a labcoat.

        If we say something will happen and it happens we call that Science. If we say something will happen and we make it happen we call that Will.

        I believe that we need God and if there were no God we would need to find the Will to act as if there were. Humans without God believe in Salvation Through Society at best or Nihilism at worst, either one an Amorality, believing that anything can be permissible and that nothing really matters. Either way must lead to totalitarianism, the Big Lie. That which is not forbidden is permitted. That which is not permitted is forbidden.

        Then we entered World War III against religious “Nazis”, Muslim fundamentalists who use God as a weapon of mass destruction.

        So I am wrong about God.

        God is a lie.

        Society is all about characteristic illusions, lies. Society is just what you do to survive.

        I must be a lie.

        Lies are the facts of my existence.

        What soul remains? Why does it matter? What is the difference?

        The difference is, I lie for a reason. I lie to write a perfect world of fiction.

        This is my suicide note.






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