MISS GAIDO

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MISS GAIDO

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        How many women get two careers? Especially one as lucrative as this one is. That bachelor party was quick and easy.

        Oh, shit, I’ve left my windows down on my car. Some cat has probably pissed in my new car.

        Focus! Put the cash away first, in the locking bank bag.

        Who’s next tonight?

        What’s it say on the dashboard memo?

        Mmmmm, what’s this? “The Kohn party” – Shit, this is bad even for my handwriting.

        “GPS: ‘Kohn party’.” OK. I don’t remember punching this one in. Mmmm, not far.

        I could never have afforded this car on just my salary. Voice-activated radio.

        “FM: ‘104 point three’”. Alright. I like this song.

        “…It’s per-son-al, myself and I, we got some straighten-in’ out to-o do-o…”

        Hey, alright, here we are. Only a couple blocks. The word must be getting out. Nice house. The music inside is kind of loud. I won’t need my boom box.

        “Hello?”

        Wow, this house is even nicer inside.

        Why is this kid answering the door? Why is he smoking a cigar? “Is your father home?” This kid looks familiar. Who are those other two boys? They look familiar.

        “Hey, uh, kid, what’s going on?”

        “What do you mean, you’re sorry?”

        “You’re the one who wrote on my memo pad? You changed my GPS?”

        “That bachelor party was at your father’s house?!”

        “This is Travis’s house? Who the… Wait a minute…”

        Oh, God. Holy shit.

        “You’re Phil, you’re … Travis and you’re… Allen from Fourth Period English!”

        Aw, what the hell.

        “Yeah, $316.73 will do…”

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