See? I know! I told you so: Self-reliance.
Maybe living out of this car is alright
Just as long as both of us get sleep this night.
Like warm breath inside of our car condenses
As the night surrounding us freezes one inch
Higher than our habitat. Struggling, I cinch
All my senses
Eating cold fried French-cut potatoes plus cream.
Was I always out-of-it? Giving someone
All my time and someone else every hard won
Claim to my dream?
In the hour before dawn, with my goblins
I steal silver shamefully from the newsstand.
With it we have just enough bait and both land
That we eat in just three bites. Then we eddy
To the bathrooms. Fumbling with the water
Rubbing soap onto my beard, starting slaughter,
With the old disposable razor I kept.
We drank all that bottle of Nyquil last night
Fifty-proof cold medicine outshines Bud Lite.
You and I slept.
Still our heads are really numb. Was it worth it?
Wine’s not cheaper. Harder to fit my jacket.
So to steal it isn’t as smooth a racket.
Toilet paper! Don’t forget that again, please.
You can stuff it into your purse for later.
I am not an underwear cultivator.
In the mirror, taking a last look feeling
Far away from everything that I still see
Widely split. I can’t get around it in me
All that we believed-in is gone into haze.
One year this day (am I again to be old?)
Our fish market had to be closed and then sold.
Kissing you upon the full moon
(You were just the sweetest sixteen).
Bumping heads the very next day.
(Thoughts of mine were really obscene).
Getting that new job on the First
(In the month of no Halloween).
Hurt my head again two more times
(Somehow, somewhere there in-between).
Tea I drank and poetry thought.
(Even now who knows what I mean?).
In the meantime:
Pardon me for day-dreaming in this bathroom
While you open alleyway doors and break-out
In those red marks over your face as I doubt,
Like a bridegroom,
Waking up from everything he knew better,
Asking himself “Can it be eating too well
Is the thing that’s making her stomach out-swell
That loose sweater?”
As you stumble up against that last frontier
Slumping back and sliding-on down to cold ground
Eyes closed, laughing “Since I am clearly earth-bound
I’ll wait right here.”
Hope you hear that cop stopping in his rover
Kneeling so you focus on him saluting.
Please hear “Madam President, no disputing:
Fun is over.”