A FEW WORDS OVER THE GRAVE OF GOD
“Am I living for nothing?”
“Fear is lack of faith. Fear is lack of faith. Fear is lack of faith.”
Think of the Cosmos blasting forth for billions of years.
Light years away from nothing.
In the beginning was Nothing.
The Cosmos is God’s corpse.
Why should I fear Nothing?
I am grounded in transcendental Nothing.
“Therefore I am already living for nothing. From nothing.”
Pain is the doubt.
Pain is the hot stamp of conscience.
It makes a coward of me.
My mommy is dead.
“I failed you, Mommy.”
Was that my purpose?
I fear so.
“You wished that you were a cat when your own parents fought.”
A cat has no troubles, you believed.
A cat lives and dies with divine lack of questions, you believed.
But I have seen a kitten lie on the corpse of a slain mother.
“What do you believe now, Mommy?”
“It must be Heaven to believe nothing.”
I believe I am afraid, therefore I am alone in my truck, parked in the darkness, thinking these words beneath a storm and fury signifying nothing.
“Do something, damn it, drink, fuck, make money…”
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But, the most ancient scrolls are kept on: THE TABLE OF MALCONTENTS