THE POPE FUCKERS

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THE POPE FUCKERS

        My name tag is called Michelle Cook.  Friends who know me call me “Heidi” because I still hide the fact that I’m lesbian.

I’m here in Lhasa, China, for the annual World Unity Council (WUC) presentations.  I work for the Global Water And Power Administration (GWAPA).  We control the clean water and the fusion power distribution for the entire globe.  Well, almost.  I’m the Director of Consistency.  I’m supposed to present our annual proposals.

Lhasa was once thought to mean “place of the gods” but we now know it meant “goat’s place.”

I’m saying this to the girl next to me at the bar, “It is 2084.  Israel was destroyed over a half-century ago.  Jesus is still a no-show.  The Vatican abdicated to a monastery somewhere in the Himalayas.  And the world didn’t go to any Hell.  In fact it is better off.”

I down my Collade and beckon the bartender for another.

The WUC convenes here in Lhasa every December twenty-fifth in honor of the birthday of our true savior: Heo Seong, the North Korean who brokered the World Unity Revolution.

I am saying, “We are no longer driven by the old superstitions.  The world has evolved into the liberation of peace.  We are ruled by Peaceful Consensus.”

The red haired girl to whom I am talking is clearly Chinoise (she said her name was Bling), and she is saying back to me, “You memorized well in school.  But you all bow down to Death.”

Bling takes a contemptuous sip from her breast flask in a way that just fucking turns me on instantly.  Her kind refuse to drink the beverages sanctioned and distributed by the WUC Bureau of Nectars.

It was her leather jacket with the Pope Fuckers logo that attracted me to her in the first place.  She is a cultivated female companion of the Pope Fuckers.  The Pope Fuckers control a big region of the Himalayas and the Tibetan Plateau.  They are the last to resist the World Unity Revolution.  The WUC has delayed the Illumination of the Pope Fuckers because they grow and distribute so efficiently the WUC raw materials for drug recreation.

Bling had said, “Yeah, they delay our ‘illumination’ because they can’t ‘illuminate’ us.”

I ask condescendingly, “Really?  Why not?”

Bling snaps, “Because we have the free-thinkers.  Our counter measures are always ahead of the dumb bureaucratic beast that paws at our freedom and our dignity.”

I roll my eyes, “The real world has moved beyond the illusions of freedom and dignity.  Didn’t you ever learn about the economic havoc and dislocation and suffering that was caused by the collective illusion of free choice?  Freedom?  Dignity?  As if humans were not social animals, as if everything they did, especially what they considered to be the freedom of will and the dignity of autonomous choice, was not predetermined by prior experiences, prior teaching, forgotten. and when rediscovered, arrogated as an individual achievement?  For Seong’s Sake, Bling, our very language and the way we conceive is learned collectively.”

Bling and I are interrupted by a gracious and beautiful WUC Social Servicing representative.  The Social Servicer says to me as she glances at Bling, “Just in case you need an ‘ice-breaker’ this evening, or if either of you should decide that your ‘goals’ are not the same, please accept my card.”

Her card calls her “Muo Dau”.  I smile.  That is Chinese for “silent prayer”.  And there is her number.

Was she just guessing that I was a lesbian?  Maybe it didn’t matter to a dedicated worker.  Well, bless the discretion of the WUC Social Servicers.  To think: that was illegal before the World Unity Revolution.  And who else would consider a three-wheeler an “ice breaker”?

When the Social Servicer strolls away Bling takes another suck on her breast flask and mutters, “Love of Stability is the root of your evil.  You want to crystallize evolution.  Stability.  It is your god.  And the most stable thing of all is Death.”

I respond, “We control evolution rationally.  Conservatively.  No one is left behind to fend for themselves.”

Bling says, “You think you were educated because you went to Yale.  Well, well, Michelle.  The Pope Fuckers accessed and downloaded the sealed archives at Yale.  Your ‘world unity’ economy is based on what were once the economies of criminals.”

I thought she was just trying to fuck my goat and I responded heatedly, “The old world economies were based on uncertainty, turmoil, and dislocation.  The real criminals were the business lords who fought one another with people as their arena.”

Probably because we are raising our voices an armed WUC Paxman approaches me and asks, “Everything OK?”

I answer casually, “No problem here.  Friendly debate.”

WUC Paxmen are the only ones who bear weapons.  It is a relief.  He says, “Easy on the Collade, ladies.”

Bling has contemptuously turned her back to the Paxman.  The Paxman takes a quick glance at her and moves along.  He almost seems apprehensive if not afraid.

Bling resumes her argument, saying, “The economy of your World Unity Revolution is alcohol, sex with strangers, recreational drugs, and games of chance.”

I respond, “Nectars, Servicing, Remedies, and Probability Management are all conducive to world stability.  Through the WUC everyone can afford what they desire.  There is no need for the chaos of material consumerism and the competition for things that are not necessary,” and I conclude with the powerful, “and everyone is happy.”

Bling responds, “You mean: no one resists.”

I have to laugh, “Bling, you are determined if nothing else.  Determined to feel alienated from humanity.”

Bling sneers, “I am what is left of humanity.”

Bling is adorable, dangerous.  I’m so wet I’m going to slide off of this bar stool.  She’s looking at me.  What is she thinking?  Is she thinking the same thing I’m thinking?

I say, “Do you… want to get out of here?”

Bling reaches her hand up my leg.  Oh, Seong.  Oh, Seong.  Her fingers negotiate my panties.  I start to lean forward to kiss her but I stop and I whisper, “Not here.  Come to my suite.”

As we discretely walk to the elevator I am amused that one of the proposals in my WUC presentation is to be the negotiation of rights for the Himalayan watershed.

Bling does not remove her Pope Fuckers jacket but she removes her leather trousers.  Her legs are white, smooth, cool and hard like marble.  I smoke her red fur.

Bling then laps me slowly, steadily like I’m the best ice-cream cone ever.  She puts her arms around my thighs.  I hear myself moaning.  Bling balances the tip of her tongue on my bean and rocks it like she’s trying to balance a button.  I am making sounds I have never made before.  She plunges her fingers into me and hooks my ledge while she continues to lap, lap, lap.  The electricity must go somewhere and I am screaming and I can’t shed the electricity fast enough and I am shuddering I am flailing I am going over the waterfall I die, again, again, again.

#

        I am weightless, gently drifting on the bed.  Bling has arisen and she is pulling on her leather trousers.  I gaze at her white legs at her sweet red fur.

        I ask Bling, “Will you be coming to the conferences?” I smiled and said, “I know I have.”

        Bling seems to think carefully and then she says, “That is why I’m here.”

        There are overtones of the intensity that Bling had applied to me.

        I say hesitantly, “Good.  Good.”

        Bling turns to me and I think we will kiss good-bye but she instead raises both hands over me and then she gestures a sign of a cross over her breasts.  And then she abruptly leaves.

        I call after her, “Will we… see each other again?”

        Bling says as she closes the door of the suite, “We’ll see.”

        After she is gone I luxuriate on the silk sheets.  I reach down to pleasure myself, thinking of the things Bling did for me.

        I reach under my ledge and suddenly I feel a warm gelatinous mass.  I try to rub it away but there is a stunning radiance of pleasure.  What did she put in me?  The mass is absorbing into me.  My waves of pleasure are increasing.  Oh, Seong, Oh, my Seong.  What did Bling do to me?  A parting gift?

        Now I am afraid as the waves of pleasure are coming faster, more and more intensely, so fast, Oh, Oh.  The waves of pleasure are becoming a tidal wave.  What is happening to me?!

        I am shuddering.  I am shaking.  As I am about to scream there is a jolt of intense release that paralyzes all of my muscles.

        My mouth is open like lock-jaw.  My chest suddenly feels as if it is exploding.

#

        The Director of Consistency, Michelle Cook, was found dead today in her hotel suite, the victim of a fatal orgasm.

        Authorities are seeking a red-haired woman wearing a ‘Pope Fuckers’ jacket who was seen leaving the hotel bar last night with Ms Cook.

        Pope Cinis Cineris III has issued condolences and prayers for Ms Cook’s family and for all, as he put it, “the lost sheep”.

#

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