THE SILENCE OF SKELLY WEAVER
the bethlem psychiatric hospital is located in southhampton england
a psychiatrist walks with a hesitant woman in a black dress and a scarf and dark glasses
they are both flanked by muscular orderlies
the psychiatrist is soothing the woman with his words saying
we are so grateful that you decided to come back
you are the only one to whom he responds
he is in a most unusual state of dissociation
he resembles an extreme autistic mode
he will not speak nor will he respond to our words
you can see he just sits there and types on the word processor which we gave him
we are recording his objective histories shall we call them
he is aware of his surroundings but in a dissociative third person objective dare I say godlike awareness as evidenced by his furious writing
there is no first person in virtually any of his transcriptions nor in the fantasy narratives that he will compose of a sudden
only your name comes up in the narratives in the form of second and first person point of view over and over
caryn ashtree
caryn ashtree
we understand how difficult it is to see an old friend in such ill health but you do realize the good that you are doing yes
the woman finally turns and firmly faces skelly weaver and removes her dark glasses and then she gasps and covers her mouth and her eyes fill with tears and the woman asks of the psychiatrist
what happened to him
what happened
one of the orderlies relates as if confessing saying
he cut all the hair off of his head with a sharpened metal plate that he pried off of the toothbrush holder
the other orderly shares the confession saying
he used a grease pencil that he stole to write letters of the alphabet all over his face and body like tattoos
the woman now struggles to ask
is he typing everything that we are doing and saying
the psychiatrist affirms and points to the monitor screen where the text that skelly weaver is rapidly chipping away on his word processor also appears and is saved for diagnosis
the psychiatrist urges the woman
please talk to him
it won’t matter what you say
he will weave it into a narrative that we can analyze
please
the woman sits down across from skelly weaver and she says
“Hello, Skelly. How are you?”
I feel myself brighten and I smile, saying, “There you are Caryn. I have been looking for you.”
Caryn covers her mouth and then lowers her hand and asks, “Where…, where are we, Skelly?”
I close my eyes and smile and nod and I reply, “Rue de Rêves Cassés. It’s after midnight already! Can you believe it? Don’t be embarrassed. It is the charm of Paris to be lost in these ancient streets. Come. The hotel is that way.”
Caryn wears the short blue and white dress that I find so attractive. I say to her, “If you don’t mind, can we go back to the room? The view of Paris from the balcony is so amazing at night. You are amazing, Caryn. I will have a surprise for you tonight.”
Caryn whimpers and I look into her eyes, “Are you alright, Caryn? What is wrong.”
And then I realize: of course, on the sidewalk ahead is a pile of butchered cow heads outside the marché de la viande, the meat market. In the yellow streetlight the blood glistens down the hilly sidewalk.
I take her arm and guide Caryn across the cobblestone street and try to laugh as I say, “Not very auspicious. We must rekindle the mood for this special night,” and I turn to kiss her but she breaks my grasp and I cannot see her anymore and I say with nervous humor, “Where are you hiding, ma cherie? What game is this?”
the woman stands and nearly falls backwards over the chair in which she had been sitting across from skelly weaver
one of the orderlies is there to catch her but she regains her balance and walks quickly to the psychiatrist and whispers harshly that she does not have the strength for this, for what is coming
the psychiatrist puts his arm over her shoulders and tries to bolster her original resolve saying
yes this is hard for you we know we know but if you can just get through this you will have helped your friend as only you can
after a few minutes the woman takes a deep breath and turns and marches back to skelly weaver and she sits down once again and she says with determination
“The view from this balcony is magical. Look. Look how big the full moon appears over the city.”
I reply, “This couldn’t be more beautiful. More perfect. But it is you, Caryn, not the moon or the city. It is you who are illuminating this night. I want you to illuminate the rest of my life this way. And that is why…”
Caryn turns and interrupts and she points up to the full moon and says, “Isn’t it wonderful? No matter where in our world we might be together or apart we can share that same moon.”
I ask her, “If I have my way we will never be apart. And that brings me to this…”
I think Caryn knows what I am going to ask but she is so agitated and she excuses herself, saying, “Skelly, hold that thought. Let me freshen up first, OK?”
the woman again arises and turns away from skelly and huddles with the psychiatrist again, crying,
don’t make me go through with this
he is going to ask me to marry him
the psychiatrist nods and says
and you refused him
you must find strength
that is not what broke him
we have learned that skelly has had many events in his life that have lead him to reject reality and write himself into his cocoon world where he can make everything turn out the way he wants
it is not your fault
help him
I look over the dazzling city and while I wait for Caryn to return to our balcony I take out the ring and it is blessed by the full moon. I look up again and I think to myself that I could wait forever upon this balcony for Caryn.
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But, the most ancient scrolls are kept on: THE TABLE OF MALCONTENTS
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